Summer away from home.

Im starting off the vacation by leaving for West Virginia. Leaving Knoxville. My summer hasn't had much excitement until the last week for Memorial Weekend went to my best friend Nicole's cabin. Having best friend time with her was super good but it also made me miss my best friends I havent seen since school was led out. I miss everyone. One thing I have learned about the summer is expect the un expected it all comes with changes and new things. Relationships has been the big change for me. One year ago today I met my best friend Nicole's boyfriends friend and even though I was dating my ex boyfriend at the time, the more I got closer to this guy the more I started liking him, even though James was in the picture. This guy became one of my best friends and I always on the inside wanted more. As the feelings started going away and I started forgetting him as ever being my boyfriend and meeting someone else, helped a lot from the pain of not liking him. Then the whole thing with the new guy didnt work out as well as I thought. The guy wanted to start talking and dating and I thought finally so we did but something didn't feel right and I still want to know why? Why did my heart go through this for a year? The question is still remaining.

Now I leave for West Virginia, my home. The feelings about leaving for WV is mixed emotions, im very excited to see my family and my best friend/cousin Natalie but am I ready to go back into the past and go back to what happened last summer while I was there? Honestly, Im terrified, I don't want to back to what my life used to be. Im afraid of facing the one person that changes my life everytime I see him. I dont know why it bothers me so much to see THEM, they aren't apart of my family, never have been. I know its hard to avoid them, but for my family, if I see them...I need to try to not let it bother me so much. Even though its so hard not to think about it...

Kicking it off...

Summer of 2010 is finally here, and starting off semi-good. I kicked off my summer by getting in a fight with my mom, which got in the way of not being able to spend the night with Jessica (im still sorry about that). After the fight, I realized my feelings for a guy that has been my best friend for a year now, that those feelings hasn't gone away and I didnt know what to do with them. I went to the neighborhood pool to get away from my house...He was there. So what do I do, I tell him my feelings for him that havent changed...From then, it went from bad to great. Im also scared as crap, the last guy I ever had feelings for or even close to being in a full on relationship with hurt me pretty bad, but again thats why I have some of the best friends in the world who I miss so much. I havent seen any of them, and im not getting used to it at all and it sucks because I leave for west virginia in like 2 weeks and wont have cell phone service and its just I need my girls. I miss everyone already. Hope to see them soon.

This summer is going to be a blast from the past going back to west virginia, am i excited? Yes. But im not ready to go back into what has happened the last times I went. Its so hard. Maybe something will come from it, who knows?

All I know is that, I want this summer to be the best, I have made new friends and will have so many great memories with them and August, we will reuinite and get even closer :)

The Beginnings.

Summer comes around every year. School ends, another year filled with good or bad memories. This year starting at a new school, new grade, new life, and new friends you learn so much about your own self and the people you surround yourself around. I have made some of the best friends in my 9th grade year of high school and I lost some friends too, but what matters is those true high school friends you meet in one class and is shy to talk to but then later become your best friends and they end up becoming even more...Sisters. As the school year ends, and everything drifts a part because of not seeing your "soul sisters" every day things become tough, they become hard, and sometimes they even come to a point where you just dont talk or see each other. With me and my friends, nothing will tear us apart. With love, laughter, and FUN it will just keep getting better and better each and every year. SUMMER 2010.